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S​/​T

by Little Tyrant

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1.
Validate 02:03
It's hard to fall asleep When I'm only comfortable in the morning And it's tough to not pick my scabs because I like to be reminded of what made them And I'll keep staring at a picture of myself In hopes that enough compliments will validate it and everything is bullshit when it takes waiting for a loading bar to finish up, i've emptied out my cup because I'm full And I am only comfortable in the morning
2.
I get out of bed dream of punching holes in my wall but I can't because it comes out of my security deposit and i can't afford the loss after all that i've spent after all that i've tossed right into the toilet so i'll keep on dragging my feet across these nicely finished hardwood floors till I get to the sink and I stare at the spot where the bottles could be
3.
You crept right through the door to look up was a chore i couldn't move my body and yet i could feel you just sweep over me and i was late to your wedding i got you both some mediocre bedding i sat at the bar and i smoked some cigars is this what growing up is? it is
4.
Stopping dead in your tracks When you felt so beautiful beautiful but you still feel bad so you just rest your head for a couple billion million trillion hundred years or i guess that's what it feels like when you're riding you bike past 22nd and market
5.
Fingertips 02:39
My fingertips are getting sore from writing songs about how sore my fingertips are and I know this can't be real and I know this can't last for more than what is ideal Throw me straight into the sun or whatever is most convenient for you in the long run because everything needs because everything leaves My fingertips are getting sore from writing songs about how sore my fingertips are and everything fucking leaves but always come back in waves always come back in waves
6.
Writhe 01:15
Cry your fucking eyes out all you want Not impressed, I'm not better than you I'm depressed Just another confused 20 something year old in the city distressed, looking for something that's hard to address am I even fucking alive or did the pills that I took take me out of the book that I thought I was living in Cry your fucking eyes out all you want
7.
Sail 04:09
And I promise not to get too upset When I wake up and I'm not in your apartment Covered in cat hair, in need of a shower Falling back to sleep on your floor every hour And I was so scared for the longest goddamn time that my understanding of human interaction was lost and something I thought I'd never be able to find And maybe it's selfish of me to be dreaming about things so far out of reach but can you blame me for feeling like I could breach the gates of hell and sail like it's going out of style And I promise not to get too upset when I wake up and I'm not in your apartment Covered in cat hair, in need of a shower falling back to sleep on your floor every hour because in the end it's just a passing fad because in the end it's just a passing fad but it feels good to be human again it feels good to be human again for now
8.
Sooner 01:14
I don't feel like putting on my makeup today The blush is getting dim The foundation just won't stay So I'll bat my eyes until they're as dry as your humor It's cold and the house is empty And you couldn't get home any sooner
9.
Best Friend 01:07
You were only as strong as your weakest link but your entire chain was rusted far beyond relief you finally were about to sink but you started to think that maybe life's not so bad you put me through so much secondhand stress to the point where i was afraid of leaving the house at your expense but no matter what situation that we're in I'll always love and care for you because you are and will always be my best friend
10.
Sob Story 01:32
And you are nothing without the people who love you the people who hold you up and make you feel alive when you don't And it's okay to feel sad some of the time but don't make it rule you don't make it your sob story and when our bones are aching from a fucked up night of drinking they'll be there
11.
Alien 04:04
And I could never cut myself because of my low tolerance to pain and I could never burn myself because I was too afraid of the flame and I could never figure out how i would end it so I guess I'll chill right here for now and keep on pretending keep on pretending Sometimes I feel like a gender and others just like an alien so I've stopped trying to figure out which one of them is more conventional and I'm tired of getting into arguments because it feels like I am falling off of mountains anxiety disorders sound cute and quirky on paper but it's a living fucking hell Well if there are rock solid composures then mine takes the form of a sponge so many times have i been pushed to the point where the only option left is the plunge but why i haven't done it yet the answer I haven't been able to find so I guess until then I'll just sit in my room And I'll wait for you to come hit me up sometime

about

This was recorded in three days in a tiny bedroom in North Philly in Garageband with absolutely no aspirations whatsoever. Enjoy.

TW: Some songs cover light gender dysphoria and suicide/self-harm mention

credits

released June 29, 2015

Matt Diamond- everything

Album art by Zoe Reynolds (thank u~)

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Little Tyrant Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

genderqueer tunes for genderqueer goons

2014-2015

My new band is JANK
ohnoitsjank.bandcamp.com/album/awkward-pop-songs

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